


i should tell you

by aprincessofdaxam



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 09:02:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17936825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprincessofdaxam/pseuds/aprincessofdaxam
Summary: "I should have said it before." A missing scene from 2x22.





	i should tell you

_"Whenever I fight, no matter who it's against or where it is, I'm always fighting for Lois. I fight with her [in my heart]. The people we love, they're, they're another secret superpower. Keep him with you."_  
_\-- Kal-El, 2x22_  
  
**********************  
  
She knows that it's almost time to go when Mon-El appears at the door of the training room, clad in his black DEO uniform. Kal pulls away from the hug and heads for the door, nodding at the Daxamite as he does so. They're left in silence that Mon-El finally breaks.  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
She wants to give him a cocky response, but the stakes are so terribly, terribly high, the best she can do is nod, her hands planted firmly on her hips in her trademark pose to keep them from shaking. His worried gray eyes must see right through it, because when she crosses the room to meet him at the door, he pulls her into his arms and she sighs, melting into him for a moment. They really have to go, but she can't find it in herself to pull away, letting his strength cradle her for just a moment, wishing she could borrow some. Maybe she can, she thinks, letting peace settle over her for just a moment.  
  
Moments before, she'd told Kal that she didn't know if it was possible to have everything she wanted, but right now ... this is everything she wants, in this moment. And everything suddenly seems possible.  
  
Her secret superpower.  
  
She loves that feeling of possibility that she feels every morning she starts in his arms. She loves that she doesn't have to be strong for a moment. She loves that he would give her his strength without her having to ask. She loves the sound of his heartbeat. She loves ... _him_. And suddenly, it's imperative that she tell him.  
  
"Mon-El, I - "  
  
In all the scenarios she's imagined, in her over-active imagination, of what might happen if she found it in herself to say those three words - words he'd said first - she'd never imagined that his eyes might widen not with surprise, but with - fear? That he'd back away from her into the training room as if scalded, shaking his head in denial.  
  
"No. Don't say it now."  
  
"Mon-El ... "  
  
"Don't say it!" he insists. "Don't say it now, before you go fight her, like you're saying it just in case."  
  
"It's not - "

And it's _not_ just in case, she tells herself. It's because now, she knows what she's fighting for.  
  
"You told me you needed me strong, Kara, but I can't," he says, his voice edging on frantic. "I don't know how to stay strong if you ... "  
  
"You are so much stronger than you know," she says.  
  
She looks at this beautiful, brave man in front of her, breathing hard, who is willing to go shoulder-to-shoulder with her to carry the weight of the world, and feels a smile stretching across her face, unbidden.  
  
He doesn't want to hear those three words now, and she understands that, a little. But he never said she couldn't tell him why. Or at least some of the reasons, because they _do_ have an agenda to keep.  
  
"You're strong enough to adapt to your impossible circumstances, after losing everything you'd known in your life. To get up and to fight to find your place in this world. Have I ever told you that I admire you?"  
  
He's quiet, no longer trying to stop her from speaking, and she takes a few steps closer to him across the floor. "I appreciate it so much when you ask about my day and stop to listen like I'm the most important thing in the world, even when you have to be out the door in five minutes to get to work. It makes me feel special, not because I'm Supergirl, but because I'm just Kara. Just like it makes me feel special when you sneak out of bed to make breakfast in the morning. I'm impressed that you taught yourself how to cook, and how you use it to make people happy. I admire that you have that patience, and that artistry, and that drive to learn. I've been here half my life, and still can't manage as many things as you have in like six months." The sparkle of mischief in his eyes - a welcome sight after his sudden panic of a moment before - makes her hold up one hand, half in jest. "Do not comment on my unemployment-baking right now."  
  
The words are spilling out of her now. "I see your drive to learn every time I watch you read. You're so focused. And I love that you never read the end of Romeo and Juliet after I told you what happens, because the thought of it just made you sad. Your heart is so soft, and so kind. And I admire that you have that huge heart, and that you're fearless about your emotions with me - that you cry when we watch Disney movies, and you don't try to hide it. It makes me want to be brave enough to be vulnerable, too - because you make me feel safe. And I love that you want others to live fearlessly and be happy, too. I'll never forget how you were, when Alex told us about Maggie. Acting like it was silly that _anyone_ would make an issue of it."  
  
"I'll never forget the way you looked at me that night," he interjects finally. "Like you were seeing me for the first time."  
  
He takes her hands and punctuates each one of his statements with a soft kiss - to her knuckles, to her forehead, to her nose. "I've told you before that I love your heart, your honesty, that you've taught me courage, but I find new reasons to love you every day. I can't not smile when you clap your hands when you're excited, and get that skip in your step. You talk about focus, but I've never seen anyone focus as hard as you do when you're writing. I love the way you nod to yourself when you find the right words. I've never seen anyone as intense as you are on karaoke night. I love the way you set up karaoke night, and game nights, and big group dinners, because you value community and you want everyone to be included. I'm humbled that you want me around. I'm humbled that your family wants me around. I'm honored by your trust every time you open up to me, because I know you hate being vulnerable. I'm honored by ... by _you_ , Kara. I don't deserve to hear those words from you."

"You do," she insists.

He sighs, and the look he shoots her is full of fondness, a joking hint of exasperation, and, she's pleased to see, only a little self-doubt. "I know I won't win that argument. But ... not until after, okay? Just ... after."  
  
"I'll still feel this way after."  
  
"Okay. Tell me after, then."

"After and always."  
  
They seal the pact with a quick kiss and join hands, walking out of the room and toward whatever comes before after, together.  
  
**********************  
  
_"I love you. I should have said it before."_  
_\--Kara Zor-El, 2x22_


End file.
